San Diego Therapist Blog: Regina Huelsenbeck, PhD

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

~ M. Scott Peck

It's quite possible that these uncomfortable and even terrifying experiences are the very times when we may grow the most, sprout wings and learn to fly.

Today, I thought we would talk about Love, specifically the God of Love, Eros, better known to the Romans as Cupid. Eros is the God of Love and he's also been associated with creative energies.

One of the most famous myths about Eros is the Myth of Eros and Psyche.

The story begins with the mother of Eros, Aphrodite, the gorgeous Goddess of Love... Although Aphrodite was extremely beautiful herself, she became jealous of a beautiful mortal girl, Psyche.

Aphrodite, in a fit of rage (ever notice the Gods are always in a fit of rage in these stories) ordered her son Eros to fire one of his arrows into Psyche's heart, cursing her to fall in love with the ugliest man on earth.

Eros flew down to find Psyche, fully intending to follow his mother's orders, but instead he fell in love with her. He captured Psyche and took her with him. The two enjoyed great love. However, their love only existed in the dark; Psyche was not allowed to shine light on Eros.

Psyche's sisters came to visit her and began questioning her relationship with this man whom she had truly never seen. Psyche then began to question it, and she soon became convinced that she needed to see him. One night, Psyche lit a lamp and allowed the light to shine on Eros while he slept. But Psyche accidentally spilled the lamp oil onto Eros and he awoke and in a fit of rage (again with the rage) he vanished.

Psyche was heartbroken and began roaming the earth, looking for Eros. She was given three tasks to complete in order to reunite with Eros. One of which was a trip to the underworld. Through a reconnection with nature, she completed all three tasks and was reunited with Eros.

I like to blog a myth here and there because I know that myth has a unique ability to access a deeper knowing that exists in all of us. It hits upon collective unconscious energies that have been passed down through the ages. Psyche's struggle is truly timeless; it's in our DNA.

Psyche experienced love with Eros, it was only when she began to distrust her own experience that she lost this connection. She found it again when she connected to nature. Possibly the more we can connect to nature and the natural harmony of things, the more we shall experience vitality and the life giving creative energies of Eros. 

Like the story of so many individual experiences with cancer, the myth of Inanna is a tale of both loss and transformation. The myth begins with Inanna, the Sumerian goddess as she learns that a sister goddess is suffering in the underworld and in need of help. Inanna, beautiful, powerful, giving and gracious resolves to descend into the underworld to help her friend. Inanna is the queen of heaven and earth, brilliant and strong but she truly has no knowledge, no lived experience in the underworld. She believes that the journey to the underworld will be challenging, but she will competently navigate the course and return to the upper world.
Inanna begins her descent and before long she arrives at the first gate to the underworld. The gate is dark and enormous, towering seven feet above Innana's head. At the first gate also stands a gatekeeper, he asks Inanna to first remove the red, blue, purple and green jeweled headdress she proudly dons in order for her to pass beyond his gate. Inanna is slightly reluctant but feels it is necessary to let it go for the time being, so she removes her headdress and continues through the gate. She travels a bit further down the path and reaches another gate. This gatekeeper asks Inanna to remove the magnificent necklace clanking around her long neck. Inanna calmly removes her necklace for the gatekeeper and is allowed to pass through the gate. She continues down the path and before long, she reaches a third gate. Then the third gatekeeper requests her breastplate for passage; this breastplate is textured gold beaten brass. It is handmade and simply stunning! Inanna loves it, but gives up yet another piece of power, another piece symbolizing herself, for admission further into the underworld.

The path continues to get darker; it becomes more cool and damp. She arrives at a fourth gate and here she removes her girdle. These losses continue for a total of seven gates; at each one Inanna leaves another symbol of her "upperworld" power behind. She finally enters the underworld stripped of most everything that defined her; she enters the underworld hovering close to the ground, hunched over and naked...

I tell this story because it reminds me of the passage into the world of cancer which is plagued with loss after loss. The re-telling of legend and myth have a unique ability to help us understand human suffering. (See any work by Joseph Cambell, Carl Jung, or "Tracking the Gods" by James Hollis) Our lives and specific challenges may be different from the Gods, but the pain is the same. The suffering is not unique.

Love and Light,

Regina