San Diego Therapist Blog: Regina Huelsenbeck, PhD

Whatever you may be feeling internally is simply passing through at this moment. 

Breathe in and breathe out.

Your feeling state does not make you personally right, wrong, weak, strong, good or bad. Feeling states and thoughts float through us all day long. We are in a constant state of change. Nothing is permanent and nothing lasts forever. Thoughts, feelings, and even our basic biology is constantly in a state of change. Cells are changing every single minute. Some say we get cancer many times a day through flub-ups in cell DNA replication, but this does not always become a diagnosis of "cancer" per say, because we are constantly in a state of repair, replication and change. And the same is true for thought and feelings. They come and they go. Nothing is permanent. They float in and they float out.

It is only when something stops the stream, the flow, that things get out of whack. With thoughts, when we identify with the content of a thought, we get into trouble. For example, pretend the thought: "I can't do this" floats by. If I notice this thought for what it is: just a thought, then I can release it and the thought is free to continue floating by, and another thought will float through and so on and so on. However, if I get "hooked" or identify with the thought content by saying, "yes!, that is me, I can't do this... and...actually... in the past I could not do those other things...", then the spiral begins. The mind has gotten stuck in this content, hooked into the thought and a spiral has begun. This is one way depression or despair begins (which is anger turned inward)....through faulty thought identification.

To stop this spiral from happening you can pull out the hook. You can practice releasing thoughts. They are not really yours anyway. They are simply thoughts and feeling states. They come and they go. Getting hooked means identifying with or conversely fighting a thought or feeling (trying to push it down, deny it, or anesthetize). Either way, through identification or avoidance, you have engaged the thought/feeling state. It will usually stick around until you cut bait or gently release it. Try the fisherman's practice of Catch and Release.

Also note, there is usually a quality of rigidity and self-judgment to this downward spiraling. Add compassion and flexibility, to catch and release and see what happens.

A word on compassion from Pema Chodron:

Resource: Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven Hayes, PhD.  

Have you ever felt as though the floor had been ripped out from underneath you?

In a crisis, nothing feels safe. Maybe you've lost your home, a loved one has died, or you're facing the worst depression of your life. The things which once seemed so important now seem irrelevant and false. People seem far away at times, like you're walking parallel to everyone around you, but you're in an alternate space.

IF this is indeed where you are...

Welcome

I say welcome not to be flip, but to offer a warm reassurance, because most everyone experiences some kind of "parallel" walk at one time or another. In life, we all get to be the blue duck at some point.

However, when you're in it...you're in it. It feels really lonely and scary. And often when you're in these places of despair, you honestly feel that no human being could possibly conceive of your pain. But the honest truth is that everyone, sooner or later experiences that uncomfortable place of not knowing how to make things better. 

However painful, despair, burning despair, fear and crisis can sometimes lead us to make remarkable and meaningful life changes. 

But don't let me get ahead of myself, as I said above, while you are "in it" you are "in it". Compassion is the best elixir and self soothing is a much needed balm. Be patient and loving towards yourself. You will heal and you will be ready.

One noteworthy warning to the blue duck experience: one of the most disturbing thoughts one experiences while walking in the grips of despair is that they will never return to "normal". They fear that the experience will never end. It's usually not actually the horrible situation or pain, but the fear of never getting over it, never feeling "normal" or "good" again that drives people over the edge. This thought is enticing to the mind, but it is a fallacy. Try not to get trapped by this line of thinking. 

As I said above, most importantly, be gentle with yourself, give yourself patience and compassion. You will open...

Depression Relapse: What causes it? The risk factors for a relapse of a major depressive episode include a family history of depression, a recent trauma or loss, the number of depressive episodes you may have had in the past, and a cognitive reactivity to sad moods. Negative feeling states and thought patterns seem to get wired together and can recreate depressive states more easily the next time, and easier the next time...and so on and so on.

Researchers have found that regular mindfulness practice and mindfulness based cognitive therapy significantly decreases the relapse/recurrence of depression (Teasedale et al., 2000).

How does this happen? Why does mindfulness practice help someone who suffers from depression?

The brain is filled with billions of neurons- These billions of neurons are connected to each other via synapses- specifically about 10,000 different synapses connect 100 billion neurons. A neuron fires whenever we have an experience.

When we practice mindfulness regularly - we could, over time, by repeating this mindfulness experience increase "synaptic densities in those regions that were activated with mindful practice" (Siegal, 2007). In essence, re wire your brain....making it more likely that you will be in the mindfulness territory of your brain when new stresses or potentials for depression arises.  

In fact, "mindful awareness is a form of experience that seems to promote neural plasticity". Neuroplasticity is essentially brain rewiring- "neuroplasticity is the term used when connections in the brain change in response to experience" (Siegal, 2007).

If you are interested in more information on mindfulness and neuroplasticity get David Siegal The Mindful Brain. If you want more on cognitive reactivity and a mindful way to approach your thinking, check out my blog article : The Thought Stream.